Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Happier since leaving IVF.ca

I have a friend who is thinking of leaving “the site” due to the attitudes of others, which happened to me as well when I got my natural BFP. 

I have to get this off my chest as I have been feeling it for a while now.

 

A blog entry from one of the women on the site said she had been through more than me so she deserved a BFP more…due to IVF…we always said from the get go, we were not sure we were willing to try IVF due to personal reasons and our unexplained IF.

Who really thinks one person over another deserves a BFP, and just because you did IVF, does not mean I do not deserve to achieve the dream we are all trying to reach.  You don’t know my past, and I do not know yours…so who would I be to judge who deserves it more?

 

This brings me back to why I left the site.  I found it was emotionally draining, and harder to be there.  I changed as a person on that site, to a person I did not like.  I hated being mad and upset all the time…or should I say “cranky”.  I did not want to be that person anymore…yes I got my natural BFP…but I honestly think it is because I finally stopped trying and moved on.  After 32 cycles I gave up thinking about sex as just as a way to get pregnant.  I focused on other areas of my life and I was happier.  I found the site towards the end was just bitching sessions and I did not want a part of it.  I cannot forget the good parts of the site, my amazing friends that I have made and still keep in touch with.

 

What I am trying to say is I am much happier now that I have cleared my head of all the non-sense on the site – maybe it is because I got my BFP, maybe I would have adopted and felt the same way…Either way I am much happier now and don’t feel so down and “cranky”

 

And to anyone who I upset while I was suffering from IF, and my attitude towards you changed for the worse, I am sorry if I upset you…that was not my intention (Cindy xo)

9 comments:

  1. I remember you from "the site" as we went to the same clinic. I just wanted to say congrats and wish you all the best. I now have 5 month old twin boys thanks to IUI. No one deserves it more than another and we all have different journeys. All the best and can't wait for your news.
    ~ Travelbug ~

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  2. We all deserve a BFP and somehow I think we all tend to deserve it more than another...it is unfortunately human nature. Especially when we struggle - we all tend to think "poor me". I hate that mentality; things happen and unfortunately some are out of our control. What I have learnt over the years of watching my husband battle cancer, loosing my Miracle Fighter at the age of 3 months and loosing a naural suprise at 20wks gestation is that I don't deserve to me pregnant more than the lady next to me who conceives on her first try. It is the cards we have been delt and if we all easily obtain/reached all our goals easily the world would be a pretty boring place. We struggled with this others are struggling with other issues in their lives. Life is not easy....everyone struggles. Anyways....all that to say I am happy to see you are happier.
    Lots of hugs
    K (aka ceska_holkacz) :p

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  3. If people can not be happy for you, than they are not your friends anyways. I mean, how can you not be happy for someone in this scenario? Jealousy is a horrible thing. I feel sorry for those who let their jealousy get the best of them and make them ugly people.

    In the end, you and Aaron will have your little miracle in your arms in just a few weeks. When that happens, there is nothing else that anyone can say to you that will matter more than that.

    All that matters is that you are bringing a human being into the world with every best intention to love and care for him/her the best way you know how. There is nothing wrong with that, now, is there?

    Cheryl

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  4. You're right, it turned into a nasty place - and has reverted back there recently. Absolutely no one deserves to be pregnant more than anyone else. Envy gets in the way of logic a lot more often than it should.

    I'm glad to hear your happy and that your little miracle is doing well and will be in your arms soon.

    ~TashaS (former IUI cycle buddy)

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  5. Yay Travelbug!!! So glad to see you read my blog :) tks for your kind words!! How are the kiddos doing?? Xo

    TashaS :) how are you doing hun??? It is very sad how childish the site got - I just hate that I felt I had to leave due to people saying rude things about people who were pregnant - and how the tables turned when others who were upset get pregnant and are doing the same thing (blogging about pregnancy etc)...not sure if that made sense....so glad you are reading :)

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  6. Megan, I also rarely go on the "site" anymore it just took a dramatic turn over there....with all the stress of IF it was just adding to my mix. I still hold out hope for our natural BFP thanks to stories like yours. You have re ignited my energy to continue forward naturally. You have inspired me to start saying "Its not a matter of if, its a matter of when it will happen" Thanks for that!!

    *Cherie*

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  7. The boys are doing great.... tons of work and so much fun! Where are you delivering??

    Travelbug

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  8. TB - we are delivering at Credit Valley - where did you deliver?

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  9. I delivered at Trillium.... it was great.
    - TB

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